One of the most profound things you can ever learn to do is connect with what you are thinking and feeling. The next is to learn to share these thoughts and feelings with the people that matter – lovers, friends, bosses, team members. Most people are truly scared to do this. They fear being found out and judged because of their vulnerabilities; they worry about hurting others; they fear not being liked.
Now turn this around. Which relationships do you value most? Do you prefer people who share their fears and vulnerabilities, or do you like it when they say ‘everything is fine’ even when you know it isn’t? Do you like people to be open and honest, or do you prefer they hold back their truth and say what they think you will like?
And what do you want to be? Real or fake?
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Stephen is one of the Ivy House Alumni, and when he completed the Programme he made a commitment to himself: take on and conquer the Brighton Half Marathon.
The game of doing the right thing on the surface, whilst at the same time making your real feelings perfectly clear, is as common as it is destructive.